The best description of empathy I have ever heard is that it’s the ability to put on another person’s shoes, walk around in them and experience the world from their perspective. Of course, you don’t have to wear someone else’s shoes but if you want to improve your ability to communicate across cultural differences, you must be able to understand other’s feelings, situation, ideas, values and goals. Empathy is a powerful communication tool for at least two reasons. First, it helps you better understand those around you. Second, by becoming more empathetic, you invite others to better understand your circumstances, needs and objectives.
One of the best ways to increase your empathy (as well as your cultural knowledge) is to experience the things that culturally different people experience on a regular basis. This can help you better understand the values, beliefs and behaviors of people who are culturally different. Go to diverse places of worship, visit different cultural events, go to various social activities, visit different ethnic restaurants, talk to different people at work or do anything else that puts you in direct proximity with people you don’t normally interact with. In one-on-one conversations, you can demonstrate empathy by listening first, by trying to understand where your colleagues and co-workers are coming from, and by articulating your understanding on a consistent basis (i.e., active listening, summarizing your conversations). Next Post: November 18, 2015 - The 7 Do’s of Multicultural Communication #2
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Over the past 2 months, I have described the behaviors you should avoid if you want to improve cross-cultural interaction. These 7 Don’ts of multicultural communication include:
Next Post: November 10, 2015 - The 7 Do’s of Multicultural Communication #1 Never try to speak or behave like a culturally different person if it is not who you are as a human being. Don’t try to behave the way you think someone else expects you to behave. Never act in an unnatural way because you think it is what another person wants from you. For example, don’t pretend you like certain foods, music or activities just to build a relationship with a culturally different individual. Always be yourself. This is known as genuineness and it is one of the bedrock conditions for effective cross-cultural interaction and relationship building. A lack of genuineness creates noise in a relationship (noise is anything that interferes with the accurate transmission of messages between two or more people). It also reduces trust. So be open, honest and YOU at all times!
Next Post: November 3, 2015 - The 7 Do’s of Multicultural Communication Avoid asking inappropriate questions or engaging in inappropriate behaviors, especially of a personal nature. In a culturally diverse setting, it is best to stick to business at the beginning of a work relationship. This means you must take care not to ask improper questions or engage in inappropriate conversations. For example, don’t ask about another person’s grooming habits. Don’t ask if you can touch a co-worker’s hair. Don’t ask others about their child rearing practices (yes, I’ve heard questions like these many times). These types of questions can create tension and make people feel uncomfortable. In addition, some people may find these discussions unsuitable for the workplace. Once you have established a strong working relationship or friendship with someone, you may be able to have discussions of this nature. But until that happens, it is best to avoid these types of personal conversations.
Next Post: October 27, 2015 - The 7 Don’ts of Multicultural Communication #7 The 7 Don’ts of Multicultural Communication #5 – DON’T Single Out Culturally Different People10/13/2015 Don’t engage in behaviors that single out a culturally different person, especially if that person is in the minority at your workplace. This may seem obvious, but we often do this without realizing it. In fact, it’s a fairly common, and often well-intentioned, mistake. For example, I have observed many situations where people who are cultural minorities are asked to serve on a team, committee or council because of their race, gender, age or sexual orientation. The goal of the person making the request is to ensure different viewpoints are represented, which is an honorable and desirable pursuit. However, while it may be a great honor to be asked to serve, always be aware of the difficult position you can place someone in if you single them out. Please note I am not suggesting you refrain from asking for diverse participation. That is a noble and worthwhile goal, and can greatly improve performance in your organization. Just be prepared to address any difficulties that person may have in adapting to that situation.
Next Post: October 20, 2015 - The 7 Don’ts of Multicultural Communication #6 A common byproduct of stereotyping is the tendency to think the behavior of one group member is typical of all group members and to only see in those group members what we expect to see. This has the potential to create many communication problems and unfortunately, often occurs without conscious thought (that’s the biggest problem with stereotyping - it happens without our recognition). Therefore, always strive to treat people as individuals and get to know your colleagues on an individual basis. Once again, decategorization (the conscious, cognitive process of reminding yourself to avoid assumptions by intentionally focusing on the unique nature of every individual) can be very helpful. Click here for more information on the decategorization process.
Next Post: October 13, 2015 - The 7 Don’ts of Multicultural Communication #5 A common mistake I have often observed in diverse work settings is asking a culturally different person to speak as a representative of his or her cultural group (especially if that person is a ‘minority’). It is usually done innocently yet still poses two problems. First, it puts the person on-the-spot, which may create a significant level of discomfort. This in turn, will diminish the effectiveness of the cross-cultural interaction. Second, it inaccurately assumes that one individual can speak for an entire group of people. Always remember, no one is a spokesperson for his or her cultural group. No matter how knowledgeable or well-spoken that person may be. It is fine to get to know more about your colleagues and this may entail learning about one’s cultural background; however, never assume a person can speak for anyone but him or herself.
Next Post: October 6, 2015 - The 7 Don’ts of Multicultural Communication #4 Consciously strive to avoid making assumptions about others, especially people who are culturally different. Stereotyping (making generalizations about the members of a particular group) is very common and poses a significant barrier to effective cross-cultural communication. For that reason, it is important to be aware of the assumptions you make as you interact with culturally different people, and to make a conscious effort to minimize those assumptions. One way to do this is to decategorize using self-talk. Decategorization is the conscious, cognitive process of reminding yourself to avoid assumptions by intentionally focusing on the unique nature of every individual. For instance, prior to meeting someone new, you can decategorize by saying to yourself, “I’m going to get to know this person on an individual basis...I’m not going to make any generalizations or assumptions.” The reason this works so well is that you have recognized, in your own mind, your potential for stereotyping (i.e., making assumptions) and have taken proactive steps to stop it.
Next Post: September 29, 2015 - The 7 Don’ts of Multicultural Communication #3 The 7 Don’ts of Multicultural Communication #1 – DON’T Talk to Anyone in a Patronizing Manner9/15/2015 In other words, never talk down to another human being or treat another person in a condescending manner. This is one of the quickest ways to damage communication, reduce trust and impair interpersonal relationships. It's also a very effective way to lose respect within your organization, especially if you are in a leadership position. You should consciously strive to treat everyone with dignity and respect no matter where they are on the organizational chart. This may sound simple but in reality, we tend to treat people based on our perceptions of who they are and how they should be treated. This is one of the unfortunate byproducts of stereotyping. For instance, you don’t speak to a 5-year old child the same way you speak to a 35-year old adult. Of course, this makes perfectly good sense. It would seem odd if you spoke to a young child and an adult in the same manner! However, this unconscious interpersonal differentiation can have negative repercussions as well. For instance, many of us speak differently to an office secretary than we do to a senior vice president. Similarly, during my 6 years as a college professor, I quickly learned to use "Dr. Holmes" whenever I phoned a university department because the quality of service was significantly higher than when I used "Tyrone". I wasn't treated poorly when I was Tyrone but I received more professional deference and respect when I was Dr. Holmes. Bottom-line, be aware of how you speak to others and never treat anyone in a patronizing or condescending manner.
Next Post: September 22, 2015 - The 7 Don’ts of Multicultural Communication #2 When people from diverse cultural backgrounds interact within an organization, the chances of saying or doing something that can offend another person increases significantly. Fortunately, there are several steps we can take to minimize this possibility. I refer to these steps as the Do's and Don'ts of Multicultural Communication. In coming weeks, I will post specific tips describing what we should and should not do to improve communication and develop positive relationships in diverse organizational settings. I will start with the Don’ts, which include the following:
Next Post: September 15, 2015 - The 7 Don’ts of Multicultural Communication #1 |
AuthorDr. Tyrone A. Holmes is an author, speaker, coach and consultant. He helps his clients develop the skills needed to communicate, resolve conflict, solve problems and improve performance in diverse organizational settings. Archives
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